My new obsession is Sailor Moon. Actually, I think it goes a little beyond obsession…. I have LITERALLY been living and breathing the anime. I have seen season one and two in less than two and a half weeks and I’m quickly working my way through the third season (there were 46 episodes in the first season). There was one day where I just sat at my computer and watched twenty episodes. Needless to say, my eyes were so bleary I had trouble seeing the next couple of days, but that didn’t stop me from watching another ten the very next day. The franticness in which I am going through episodes reminds me of my Buffy and Charmed obsession (more Buffy than Charmed, though I loved them both. It’s just that I have loved vampires since I was three… long before Twilight). You don’t have to tell me that a fourteen year old really shouldn’t be watching Sailor Moon—I know, but I refuse to help myself. Sadly I haven’t been watching it much lately because of the ass loads (yes ass loads... there is no other way to describe it) of homework I’ve been getting. I also haven’t been able to write, which is pretty much the only way I can express myself. My emotions are tumbling out and getting splashed all over the place (except in French, if I could say what I really meant in French, I’d be expelled and very fucking happy with myself—really, I’m not being sarcastic, which is a first. Some people are really pissing me off and the words are on my tongue just waiting to spill out. But why is another story… I swear that my English and PE teachers are part of the reason suicide lines were created. They are depressing me out .

I really shouldn’t be saying this… really, but I have the extreme urge to tell someone go to f*ck themselves (don’t worry, it isn’t in my genetics to freak out at someone who doesn’t annoy the crap out of me, so everyone is safe. Generally, unless someone does something to one of my friends, I’m more of a doormat than a get-in-your-face person.). It has everything to do with the fact that I am returning to my wonderful school tomorrow. *Smiles* School sucks, as I’m sure most people would agree. So in my problem solving nature (not really, puzzles are not my things even though I did great on a GATE test… I think it’s a flaw in their program, but go along with it for the story’s sake), my friend (the actual problem solver) and I have started to figure out ways to graduate early. No, this does not involve dropping out… unfortunately it involves extra classes, studying, and a test, but I’ll take what I can get. The down side is that I have to stay in school for at least one more year. The up side is that all I have to do is take a test and I can go to college early!!!! I’m still researching and looking for a way this could back fire, but if high school continues to suck this bad I have a plan.

I’ve been motivated by seeing my face all over my gallery (which is really annoying me) to delete my crappy deviations. This means pretty much all of my stupid drawings (I knew they were awful before, but looking at them now, I just want to puke); lots of the stuff with my face on it (how did this all happen? I hate taking pictures of myself… I hate having pictures of me. I guess I did it anyways because I like working with pictures of people [in my case no matter how unattractive]) which is a little trickier because people have faved some of those, and useless stupid photography (I’m not getting rid of all my stupid stuff though, of I wouldn’t be me). If I delete something someone likes (which I hope won’t happen), tell me and I will put it back up right away.

Back to the subject of my English teacher… I’m about to pop open with repressed anger. Not in the fists flying sort of way, but in the I’m-not-going-to-shut-my-mouth-until-I-get-everything-out way. So the next paragraph is my way of taking care of this problem.

I do not have an issue with her as a person, more of with her teaching method. Often it feels like she isn’t just teaching us literature, she is teaching her opinion on the pieces of literature. Now, my opinion of literature is that most of it is outdated (and limited in perspective) and should not be taught (i.e. Great Expectations) because it is not ‘classic’ in the sense that it is no longer relevant. REAL literature should have a central theme that will appeal to almost anyone in any time period. This of course does not mean it has to be recent. I find the many myths and legends have such central themes as does The Catcher in the Rye (just naming one piece of literature that I like and think fits. Not everyone likes it of course, but at least it pertains to the teenage mind set and many other people for goodness sakes.). For example, Greek myths all contain motivates of humanity. Granted, they are often times very flawed, but that is what makes them fun. I am sick of reading things that are very boring (no persons’ life is this boring, not even mine and all I do is sit around) and have a message that no longer pertains to today’s’ society. I don’t like Romeo and Juliet, but at least I can somewhat relate to the star-crossed lovers theme. Most of the kids in my Honors English class are dragging their feet on the book we are reading (Great Expectations), just like I am. I have heard many similar complaints as well. This is just my opinion, everyone has one. If I were teaching a class, I would not teach about how I feel about literature because it does not matter how I feel. But, it seems to me that some of the test questions we receive in my class give four multiple choice questions on opinions. How screwed up is this? What happened to there being no right answer when it comes to what you think or believe? What if I thought one of the characters was fucking insane? Why isn’t there an answer bubble for that? And if it were just this, I wouldn’t be complaining. She says she doesn’t want us it hear her opinion on topics, but then goes around and teaches us what Poe (who is long dead) meant when he wrote or said something in one of his stories. This has happened on several occasions… and I feel like I can’t win. Consequently, my grade has gone down in English. When I first learned that it did go down (it’s not a bad grade, but it’s not an A either), I got really depressed because if I want to be a writer, I shouldn’t be doing less than perfect in English. Then I started wondering if the one thing I really love isn’t for me… I went on like this for hours until I was calmed down. Now I realize that I was being over emotional and have no speck of self confidence whatsoever, but that doubt is still in my head. What if I can’t make it in the one thing that really makes sense to me? I guess I’ll find out, because there is no way I’m giving up on something I want so much. After all, I still get an A on every single one of her papers (and all the ones in my other classes)—and she told me that I had to submit something to the school lit. mag. because I’m an extremely good writer (which sorts of bugs me because I don’t like her any better at all). I can’t be too shabby—right? I can’t base my career choice on what my teachers think of me either; there is always someone out there that won’t like you. I’ve already mastered pretending not to care what people think… now I have to actually NOT care.

I’ve started drawing again… I think I’m getting better. I’ve dumped the anime/manga style, though I love it (I need to find a Vampire Knight poster for my wall… anyone have any suggestions on where I can find one? Zero is the ultimate guy; I mean he has silver (not grey) hair!!!!! He comes in right behind Jace [Mortal Instruments series] on the list of guys I wish were real), realizing that it is not for me. Now I’m doing more realistic stuff. The eyes I do look the best. I also drew and colored a picture of a human heart for my Ethnic Diversity class (which I love). I think it turned out nice . I’ve been showing my Mom and friends my new stuff and they like it… but that does not mean I’m any good. Maybe one day I will find a way to scan them…

Happy music and Christmas music are getting on my nerves lately. Not to mention love songs (Though I have to admit that like a lot of girls, I love Taylor Swift for some reason). Lately I have been listening to more Rock and Alternative music than usual (which means very second of very day). If anyone has any bands they like that they would like to share, go right ahead. I am pretty close to exhausting my music collection.

Please forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes… I was in a hurry.
Thanks for reading!!!! (It just occurred to me that if anyone from my school reads this I would die of shame. So… if you happen to go to my school (which is not probable) don’t read. If you do… just go ahead and kill me before I jump off the nearest building.)

Got this from

Here's how it works:

1. Be one of the first 10 people commenting on this journal entry, and I will add you to the "Promotional List".

2. For each of the first 10 people answering this journal I will put his or her avatar and the three deviations I like most from his or her gallery on the list.

3. If you answer, you'll have to do the same on your journal, putting me in the first position. Then rinse and repeat!

Number 1...

The Resting Place

Onward

Silhouette

Number 2...

Iris

Hi Bella - Alice - Twilight

Zoom

Peace Out. (Do not ask why I closed with this unless you want a really long story and my theory behind the concept of world peace.)